Memorial Day Weekend

watertable. bubbles. swimsuits. strawberries. sidewalk chalk. bbq with friends (and little friends). dirty knees, faces and feet. bonfire. daddy time (mamma photo work time). family time. beautiful times. blessed.

Boys and Girls

Me: "Adia, you're cute!"

Adia: "No! I'm a girl! Papa's a boy and Rasa's a girl."

Me: "What about Momma?"

Adia: "Momma's a girl"

Me: "What about..............Ernie?"

Adia: "Ernie's a doll"

I hope you dance

My Mom "gave" me this song several years ago and while I'm not a country music fan the lyrics are so beautiful and ring so true I wanted to pass it on to you two. I want nothing more then for you to be happy, to live, to feel and to dance!

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give fate a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their years and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

-Lee Ann Womack

Wordless Wednesday 64 - "come on Eya"

I see KitKat bars in a new light

Note to self:

Allowing the girls a treat (aka KitKat bar) while driving in the car on a warm day was a very BAD idea. Allowing them to hold two pieces, one in each hand, because they asked while batting there eyes and smiling sweetly was an even worse idea. The pleasure of the silence in the backseat was not worth the package of wet wipes and 1/2 hour of scrubbing melted chocolate off of their bodies, clothes, car seats and even the window (what the crap?!) let alone the energy involved in doing that!

Wordless Wednesday 63 - the window into their world

Garden Girls!

We spent the morning yesterday down the road (literally) at Nanna and Papa's house. They have a great yard that's totally fenced in, has lots and lots of running room, gardens a plenty and best of all (according to my girls) there is a "cabin house"! They LOVE playing together in that cabin! It's tucked under the shade of a massive pine tree and all you hear when you're back there are birds chirping. The girls love looking for animals in the yard...almost as much as the "cabin house".

So yesterday was very warm and very sunny and we spent the entire morning there. Aside from playing in the cabin the girls explored under the trees, including under my own weeping willow that I planted with my dad when I was 8 or 9 years old, watched doves and birds, searched for bunnies and squirrels, gave Rasa's "tiny baby" a bath in the bird bath (see pics below), Adia petted and admired Nana's "turtle" in one of her gardens over and over and we had a popcorn snack before heading back home for naps.

For the girls it was a great morning filled with lots of imagination and possibilities, lots of exploration and wonder, and best of all good company.

For me nothing gives me more pleasure and enjoyment than photographing my little girls. I feel like my pictures can say more than I can express in words the beauty and affection I feel towards each of them. They are truly works of heart.

Wordless Wednesday 62 - Rasa Bea in full effect

Wordless Wednesday 61 - She's Like Candy

Breathing is the greatest pleasure in life. ~Giovanni Papini

Since it's Tuesday at 11 pm I only have an hour to write before it is technically Wednesday.....and you know that Wednesday's are wordless! Is it bad that I'm competitive...even with myself? Girls take note, that is one questionable trait that if you inherit it came from me. Any others feel free to blame your Dad, like I do.

So I'm feeling like I need to write tonight because sometimes when I get it all down I can stand back, take a deep breath and let it go.

When I look back at series of events over time I realize most were just stepping stones for others.

Adia is doing very well. Her allergy medication seems to be keeping her asthma from reacting so I feel good about where she's at right now. Aside from the fact she's showing signs of another cold (the 1238797643 one this year!). I'm crossing my fingers. When Royce and I heard her coughing last night on the monitor after we put her to bed both of us looked like we were going to have a panic attack.

Rasa is doing. She's a tough little one. She woke up Saturday morning with a fever and a cough that was mild. We figured virus, increase the nebulizer treatments and we're good. Saturday evening she became listless and we were unable to get her 104 fever to break. After a long conversation with the on call nurse I ended up bringing her to Children's ER (with my Mom, thanks Mom!) while Royce stayed at home to take care of Adia, who I might add was asking repeatedly when Momma and Rasa were going to be home! After a 5 hour stay NOT ONE TEAR (except for mine), an iv, two X-rays, two ephedrine nebulizers, a steroid and antibiotic infusion we were on our way home, from South Minneapolis at 1 am, with a diagnosis of pneumonia. I sent Royce to bed when we got home and Rasa and I partied off and on all night!

Our days since have consisted of lots and lots of oral medications (one of which makes my sweet babe like a loopy mental escapee) lots and lots and LOTS of nebulizer treatments....something like every 3 hours....every 2.5 hours or something? And a fantastic case of diarrhea (thank you amoxicilian) and very little sleep but that is nothing new! We are all coping just fine....except for poor Rasa who is in hell right now! To top it off tonight she was feeling better than she has been and today was a warm day so we strolled her and Adia to the park where she fell and split open her lip..blood everywhere! Lots of tears and a long and hard 2 mile walk for Royce who had to carry her all the way home. Kid can't catch a break. Well Royce's odds aren't great either.

The most overwhelming part of our weekend is the aftershock that it creates for Royce and I with wondering what is going on with Rasa and Adia. The uneasiness we feel and the questioning and seconding guessing we keep doing. With Rasa's episode it was terrifying because she wasn't exhibiting any cold symptoms prior and she wasn't exhibiting any breathing distress yet when we got to ER her left lung was closed up and the right was in distress. Um SCARY! The fact that I could have missed it and had a blue lipped baby in my arms. Or the fact that Im racking my brain wondering if there was a sign I missed (I'm a mom and of course it has to be all of my fault!). Or the fact that every time I see a stuffed animal or doll, dust anywhere or a dog hair I wonder...what if it's that! What if that is causing these asthma attacks!

So I'm tired and I'm overwhelmed and I want to find some beautiful thing beneath it all and that's why I'm writing tonight. I'm writing because sometimes only I can give myself peace. It's like working on a painting and stepping back a few feet to look at it as a whole because only then are you able to see how things really look. And it's working for me tonight because as weary as I feel my heart is still overflowing with hope and love for my little girls. The comfort and familiarity my love for them gives me and knowing that even when I'm tired....so so very tired, that I can dig deeper because its for them.