Sunday, March 20, 2011

Mothering Skills......or lack there of (part two)

So I admit the header is a little poke at myself but really I've been thinking about this blog and how I've always planned on it being for Rasa and Adia. I thought it would be fun for them to hear how they grew, what they did when and to paint a picture of my deep love for each of them. I also want it to be honest and it's been a growing experience for me so to say it's just for Rasa and Adia isn't entirely true.

Ok well with that being said I'm getting a lot of this:

and this lately:

One of my friends who has a four year old said a few months back, "I have no idea how to parent my four year old!". I know exactly how she's feeling! I have no idea how to parent my two year olds at times and while love might be "all you need" it wont keep them alive! Nothing gives me the purest joy than when my girls are happy, absolutely nothing in the world but the truth is that they can't be happy all the time because if they were then I would be failing them as their Momma.

Adia, oh Adia. She gets a lot of attention wherever we go because she's cute and has these big blue eyes that match her big blond curls. She flashes a smile at the same time she bats her eyes all while tucking her cheek into her shoulder. Its a lie. She is not shy and actually as sweet as she looks she acts more like a pit-bull. Don't get me wrong she will crawl on your lap and rub your chest and hug and kiss you too but most of the time she's literally spring boarding off the walls and taking pleasure in making Rasa cry. She is fun and she is hilarious but she is also very spirited and vocal! She can scream so loud it leaves your ears ringing for an hour.

I don't want to break her spirit, I just want to rein it in a little. I don't want to keep her confined, I just want to keep her safe.

Rasa Bea. She is my wise classic beauty who is as deep as her dark blue eyes. Rasa is one part baby kangaroo one part wild horse. She wants to be held and cradled and then wants to run free away from me to explore her own world. She enforces all of the rules and will physically correct Adia. After reading about Adia you can imagine how well that goes over. Rasa is wise and sweet. She is also extremely dramatic to the extent of being brought to tears about twice every ten minutes. There are a lot of tears. There are a lot of tears. There are a lot of tears.

I don't want her to be a follower, I just want her to know when to lead. I don't want her not to be really sensitive, I just want her to be strong too.

I wanted to be so much better than I am as a Mom. I wanted to be relaxed all the time and not on edge. I wanted to be peaceful and not having to bark orders left and right. I wanted to laugh more than I screamed and to play more than I had to referee. I worry what if this is as good as I can be? What if this is as good as I get?

I remind myself that it doesn't matter how many parenting books I pour through, it will never be there. The secret answer that tells me exactly what to do. When they are babies and all you need to do is pick them up, hold them, nurse and change them, it's so easy to feel like you are giving them the best of everything. There is no single best way for children. You will likely learn what the best way is after you already did it the wrong way.

The only thing I can come up with is do it with love, when you realize you're wrong (because you'll be wrong more than you will be right) admit it and try a different approach, if it doesn't feel right it isn't and when you feel like you can't muster up the endurance to try yet another approach remember that someday they will likely have kids of their own who will torture them in the same manner :)

God help us all.

Happy Spring!!!!

It's arrived! The first day of spring is finally here and while we love every season the season of new life and new beginnings always seems to be earned after surviving these cold Minnesota winters. This year was especially brutal! My excitement about the warm sun, longer days, green grass, new buds on the trees and planning out this years vegetable garden is nearly overwhelming me! The days of running free outside all day long with no regard for a clock or the time are drawing near and we enjoy those days tremendously. Our daily rhythm changes in the summer to allow for the girls to have longer days and to be able to enjoy more time outside after our family dinner. This season we will plant, cultivate and grow together and we will continue to put our priority on playing and exploring, learning by doing, which will happen organically, as it should.

Happy Spring to you and your families. I wish for you the pleasure of the warmer sun on your face, the comfort that new life will grow and bloom as it always does and most importantly I wish you peace, gratitude and hope for tomorrow.

Saturday, March 19, 2011


So I just found out blogger is finally catching up with everyone else and you can now follow this blog via email. On the right hand side there's a section that says FOLLOW BY EMAIL and you can type your email address in to get notified when new posts are made on this blog (no spam). It's a nice feature most of the other blog platforms have been doing for ages!

Happy Weekend!!

Friday, March 18, 2011

Educating beyond abc or 123

“Our highest endeavor must be to develop free human beings who are able of themselves to impart purpose and direction to their lives. The need for imagination, a sense of truth, and a feeling of responsibility—these three forces are the very nerve of education.”
Rudolf Steiner

Sunday, March 6, 2011

She Be Jammin'

I had just carried Adia to her bed for a nap and as I walked back down the hall to the loft I see Rasa with Royce's laptop opened up banging on the keyboard with both hands.

When I said, "Rasa what are you doing?!" she smiled a toothy grin and replied, "I'm button jamming!".

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Mothering Skills......or lack there of

Things that make my mothering skills questionable:

1. The fact that I wish Rasa wouldn't go potty on the potty because I don't want to get up and get her another jelly bean......or she's already had a dozen that day. At what point can I stop giving her a jelly bean when she potties on the potty?! She's only peeing on that thing because she loves candy!!

2. My kids haven't been dressed for days. They just take their clothes off anyway so what's the point. They don't even have pull ups on. Big deal. Rasa is potty trained and even though Adia has gone on the potty she prefers to pee standing up all over the house.

3. Rasa saying to Adia "no biting you sucking idiot". Enough said. Ok maybe not enough said but before you pass judgment on me realize I've never actually called my kids a name....its a phrase I toss around referring to other people. Far too often. Clearly. Read the title of this post - I'm not trying to act like I'm a perfect person.

4. When the girls kick me out of the bathroom and lock themselves in there I let them, even though they're destroying everything, simply because I'm enjoying the peace for five minutes. Even though right at this very moment I hear them in the toilet (relax it's clean) yet Im still standing here writing about it.

5. They eat dinner siting on top of the dinning room table right where the food sits. I'll tell them to get down but they won't unless I physically move them so I just leave them up there. Dirty feet and all.

6. Adia looked me dead in the eye today and in a very serious manner said, "trouble is all around me!". She said that because for days I've been asking her why trouble seems to follow her all around. Is that sad or funny? I can't decide.

7. When Adia hits Rasa she's now putting herself in her room and closing the door behind her. What, is time out not effective now?

I'm out of energy right now but I'm sure I'll have more to add.

I had an extensive mental list of ways to be an excellent parent with perfect children before my daughters were born. I just can't find it in the current fog that my brain lives in and I can't seem to remember anything that was on it but I'm sure I had it allllllll figured out!

Oh and this is what was waiting for me in the bathroom just now. Yes of course I had the toilet seat down, they're two, they just lift it up. What are you looking at you ask yourself? That would be a bottle of natural cough syrup, an entire roll of toilet paper and two very guilty looking little girls.

Time to go and contemplate the best way to fish this stuff out.