Sunday, August 28, 2011

"...3 minutes inside the head of my two year old"

I thought this was such an accurate depiction of the manic and baffling demeanor of my two year olds that I had to share it here. It seems they are all the same after all and it's not just that I've already totally screwed up my kids!

The only thing I might add is to think of all of these items as being said with a really REALLY annoying whiney voice, repeating each one three times and another 2 year old in the background either crying, screaming or beating on the other one.

Ahh my daily peace. Welcome to my world and a nice flash back at some of yours :)

Approximately 3 minutes inside the head of my two year old
by JASON GOOD

Each of these “emotions” lasts about 3 seconds.
I wanna play with Daddy’s phone.
I wanna put on Mommy’s shoes.
GET MOMMY’S SHOES OFF MY FEET NOW!
I wanna open and close the thermostat.
I wanna turn on and off the light on the microwave.
Is there anyone here with a phone I haven’t played with yet?
I NEED TO PUSH SOME GODDAMN BUTTONS.
I wanna pick up the cat by it’s head.
I wanna throw all the toothbrushes in the sink.
HOLY SHIT I’M STARVING.
CHEDDAR BUNNIES.
I HATE FRUIT.
I want out of my chair.
I wanna play with the iPad.
I wanna go outside. No, I wanna turn the heat on.
I wanna take my pants off.
I don’t like the shirt I’m wearing.
I wanna play with Mommy’s phone.
I NEED TO PUSH MORE BUTTONS NOW.
I’m thirsty.
No, not for that.
Yes, perfect, juicebox. I’m gonna squeeze this damn thing all over myself.
Where’s Daddy?
Where’s the cat?
Where’s Mommy?.
SERIOUSLY WHERE’S MOMMY!?
Oh my God I think Mommy left forever.
Ok, there’s mommy. I want to play with her phone
Hungry again. Never mind
I just remembered not liking these pants. Get them off.
STOP TAKING OFF MY PANTS!
Wow, I’m starving. I want peas but I don’t know how to tell anyone.
Finally, peas. I like throwing these.
WHY DO I STILL HAVE THESE PANTS ON?
Oh look, a new person. I wonder if they have a phone.
Im tired.
IM NOT TIRED!
I wanna go for a walk but I don’t wanna go outside.
No, not inside either!
I need to push some buttons right now.
I hate this diaper.
My eyes itch.
WOW! Is this my toe?
STOP TRYING TO TAKE MY PANTS OFF!
I hate these pants.
This shirt itches.
I’m tired.
Stop asking me if I’m tired.
Where’s that toy that goes beep.
I wanna take a bath in my clothes.
Put on my favorite song.
Where’s the cat?
What is UP with my shirt?
Did I just hear a dog bark?
YOU DID NOT JUST TRY TO TAKE OFF MY SHIRT AGAIN!
I wanna see a dog.
No, not OUTSIDE! I wanna see a dog inside.
Is my penis still there? Good.
I peed.
I’m bored.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Its Official! We're Moving!

I have a smorgasbord of feelings about it: sheer excitement, sheer panic, anxiety and joy! I wonder the most how the girls will adjust. Where will we walk, play, visit with neighbors, find our place in a new community, buy groceries?! We are looking in a few different areas that stretch across the entire metro. We want to be closer to the city but the idea of being even further away is something we're not excluding right now. Room to run, explore and look at the stars are just as appealing as being in the city with all of the resources and culture. It's going to be a tough decision but we will figure it out in the next couple months. I believe we will be here until later this winter, early spring at the latest.

So my question is this.....How in the world do you pack up a home filled to the top with "stuff" and sort out what you have to keep and what you should really get rid of?! Insert [OVERWHELMED] here!

We are in for some tough work!

Please keep my family in your prayers or wishes that we will feel guided by the process and have peace with the area, house and community we decide on.

I'm sure you'll be reading much more on the topic as the months pass!

Monday, August 15, 2011

dog's barking, phone's ringing, one kid's crying, one kid's screaming

"You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darker." Dr. Seuss

It's late and I took a break from working to walk Lucy. Its a dark night but the moon was illuminating all of the white clouds in the sky. I was walking Lucy down the same sidewalk along the same road I always do but tonight as I looked up at the sky I got a jolt of panic at the greatness of the universe. I was almost dizzy looking up but it made me feel so tiny like a water droplet in the ocean. I felt small for a minute and alone walking down that dark quiet road.

It made me think about how there will be times in your life that you will feel insignificant. There will be times you feel alone and scared and like you don't know what to do. While it makes me sad to think you will have times like that, you will and you will have many. I want you to know that I will always be here for you. If you want to talk or if you want to just be quiet. If you want me to hold you or if you just want to sit with me. No matter what mistakes you make, no matter where your own decisions bring you, I will always stand by your side when you need me to because I love you and I believe in you.


Friday, August 5, 2011

apples....testicles...popsicles

The girls are baby obsessed and so once in a while they will ask if we can look at pictures of babies on the internet. I type "babies" in google and bring up thousands of pictures while they "ooh so cute" and "look at this baby!" (cheap entertainment). So last week when I did just that a picture popped up of a baby in the hospital with very red and very swollen testicles. I tried to scroll past that one fast because the girls ask WAY too many questions about everything but Adia saw it and demanded I show her the picture of the baby with "apples". I tried distracting her but with a meltdown already in process I gave in and said fine (total sucker!)! She called Rasa over to see it and the two of them were obsessing about the babies "apples"! Rasa asked why the babies apples were "coming out of his butt". She wouldn't let up about it so I said "those are not apples, they are called testicles". They were totally happy with my answer and we moved on with me thinking we would not have to cover testicles again until like what, 4th grade?

Fast forward a few hours later to my family at the dinner table and I was laughing telling Royce about the baby with (according to the girls) apples coming out of his butt. Rasa looked up at me with a very serious face and said "those were not apples!! Those were popsicles!"