Things that make my mothering skills questionable:
1. The fact that I wish Rasa wouldn't go potty on the potty because I don't want to get up and get her another jelly bean......or she's already had a dozen that day. At what point can I stop giving her a jelly bean when she potties on the potty?! She's only peeing on that thing because she loves candy!!
2. My kids haven't been dressed for days. They just take their clothes off anyway so what's the point. They don't even have pull ups on. Big deal. Rasa is potty trained and even though Adia has gone on the potty she prefers to pee standing up all over the house.
3. Rasa saying to Adia "no biting you sucking idiot". Enough said. Ok maybe not enough said but before you pass judgment on me realize I've never actually called my kids a name....its a phrase I toss around referring to other people. Far too often. Clearly. Read the title of this post - I'm not trying to act like I'm a perfect person.
4. When the girls kick me out of the bathroom and lock themselves in there I let them, even though they're destroying everything, simply because I'm enjoying the peace for five minutes. Even though right at this very moment I hear them in the toilet (relax it's clean) yet Im still standing here writing about it.
5. They eat dinner siting on top of the dinning room table right where the food sits. I'll tell them to get down but they won't unless I physically move them so I just leave them up there. Dirty feet and all.
6. Adia looked me dead in the eye today and in a very serious manner said, "trouble is all around me!". She said that because for days I've been asking her why trouble seems to follow her all around. Is that sad or funny? I can't decide.
7. When Adia hits Rasa she's now putting herself in her room and closing the door behind her. What, is time out not effective now?
I'm out of energy right now but I'm sure I'll have more to add.
I had an extensive mental list of ways to be an excellent parent with perfect children before my daughters were born. I just can't find it in the current fog that my brain lives in and I can't seem to remember anything that was on it but I'm sure I had it allllllll figured out!
Oh and this is what was waiting for me in the bathroom just now. Yes of course I had the toilet seat down, they're two, they just lift it up. What are you looking at you ask yourself? That would be a bottle of natural cough syrup, an entire roll of toilet paper and two very guilty looking little girls.
Time to go and contemplate the best way to fish this stuff out.