the weekend of destruction

It all started with me leaving for a half an hour Friday night. When I returned I walked into the house with music blaring at full blast, Royce in the downstairs bathroom shaving and Adia running out with another electric shaver unplugged pretending to shave the locks off the top of her head. Where is Rasa???? I go upstairs and see the light on in the bathroom but the door closed. I open it and all of my families toothbrushes are in the toilet intertwined in a couple rolls of unspooled toilet paper. Ahem....Daddy daycare is in need of improvement!

Episode two started with an unlocked baby gate at the top of the stairs. Saturday morning, about 6 am Rasa hopped out of her bed and quietly made her way downstairs. At some point Adia joined her but we're unsure as to when. Since Royce and I were sleeping peacefully in bed the details are a little hazy. We woke to a sea of silver paint marker on the legs, arms and finger nails of both girls. A camera charger once black now coated in fresh silver paint. New sparky silver drawings on the wood floor under the kitchen table. A house heavily scented in enamel paint.

Sunday morning after the girls and I went out for breakfast I decide to pick up the playroom and leave the girls playing happily and appropriately in the living room downstairs. When I hear screams of glee less than five minutes later I decide to investigate. When I came down there is a sea of white and two girls making snow angels on the dinning room floor. Snow everywhere! Wait not snow....two new big bottles of grated parmesan cheese! I spent an hour vacuuming it up as it melts inside of my vacuum cleaner and the more I try to get it off the floor, the more it seems to spread. The girls are bottomless with parmesan cheese stuck to their butt cheeks. The couch is white and there are trails of it throughout every room and on every piece of furniture.

I'm tired man. I'm tired.

**updated Sunday night**
The girls were running laps around the upstairs and decided to hunker down in our walk in closet. They were playing quietly (will I ever freakin learn??!!!) behind Royce's hanging shirts. I checked on them over and over but they were hiding so I would hear nothing, go in and peek behind the clothes and leave. I got comfy on the couch and thought wow this is nice, it's quiet and I can relax for a minute before they go to bed. A millisecond later, Adia comes racing down the hallway to the loft with tiny quilting pins stuck all over her pull up.
"Oh *(&^!"
What the hell did they get into??
I walk into the closet and behind the clothes is an empty little Tupperware container that used to house about one thousand tiny quilting pins. They. Were. Everywhere. The floors in the closet are distressed hardwood - complete with gaps and knots etc. Each gap and each knot hole was filled with pins. They. Were. Everywhere. I had Royce grab me a magnet off the fridge and that helped with the clean up - those little buggers are hard to grab onto!

I think I got them all. I don't really know. They keep showing up all over the house now. I'm sure I'm going be pulling them out of the bottoms of my feet for weeks.

Sigh.

The girls are only two for like a few more weeks. If I make it out of the terrific two's without a mental breakdown or a drinking problem than I feel like there probably is a God.