Friday, January 20, 2012

letting it go....watching it happen

I'm a natural born worrier. I've had issues with anxiety since I was a small child. I think part of it was that I was very sensitive and in tune with my families expressions and worries (spoken or unspoken). I see all of these traits in Rasa and our pediatrician told me last week he believes Rasa has some anxiety issues. That didn't trouble me at all because years ago I found this amazing meditation expert with a Ph. D in Psychology and she taught me the keys to a worry free life. It changed my life completely. I still resort back to worry and still work through panic attacks and anxiety but I know how and I know how to teach Rasa to embrase her intuitive nature for good, wonderful, compassionate and passionate things rather than letting it manifest into anxiety.

We weren't born to have a rotten life filled with hardships and heartache. We were born to be free, to be happy, to love and be loved, to reap rewards of our work and millions of other reasons.

My mantra is "things will happen exactly as they should" I can't tell you how true this is. Always.

When we tried to get pregnant, I knew it was meant to be. There was a plan and it happened exactly as it should have. A month before I had the girls I found out my company was sold and my department was going to be eliminated. My first reaction was to FREAK out! The plan was for me to take a 12 week maternity leave and come back to work full time. The timing of the acquisition was supposed to fall right before the girls were due and I was in a panic (hugely pregnant) wondering how I would get a new job in my state and how I would get the great maternity leave I had all set up! I'm not going to lie and say I let it go to the process. I flipped my lid for about two weeks before letting it go. The timing of everything ended up so perfect I could not have planned it better had I customized the entire thing myself. I had the girls, took 12 weeks off, went back to work to pack up my desk and say goodbye and got a fat severance that ended up paying me for a year at my full time salary. Seriously!

Well as you can see after we had the girls our plans changed and we decided to keep them at home but had this entire process not happened I'm not sure where we would be right now. It was a window that opened us up to a much better place! The cumulative effects of losing my job were that the girls are at home with me and I found a new career that I would have never imaged before!

Royce and I have hardships like everyone else. We choose not to focus on them. When we do we get in this nasty place of feeling sorry for ourselves and are unable to remember or see the amazing things that happen in our lives on a regular basis.

When I worry about getting work it only helps to give me anxiety! When I let it go I get bookings....every single time!
When I worry about money, I end up with a panic attack. When I let it go it just comes in. Surprise extra bonus at work for Royce! Surprise work for me!
When we started worrying about the house, where we were going to live and what to look for it almost ruined our Holiday's. We made a decision before Thanksgiving to LET IT GO and enjoy the holiday's. Guess what, a place fell in our lap that's more perfect than we could have dreamed up ourselves.

I could write a list of all the horrible things that have happened and not worked out but you know what, I don't really remember any of them because the things that count, the things that matter have all unraveled beautifully....not without blood, sweat and tears...but they have.

Things are meant to be. GREAT things are meant to be for all of us. Let it go.


Gramma Carol said...

Oh Wow. This is a great reminder and an inspiration. Thanks, Lis.

Royce said...

Meant to be, yes are we! Very well put hun.